By: Rashida Thompson
Susan always wanted to be a physician. She was fascinated with the ability to help and heal others but didn’t believe in herself. Susan was abandoned by her biological mother, and subconsciously wanted to prove her worth somehow by being an unwavering support to someone else. Susan had a bright future ahead of her, but she was the last to realize it. Her warped perception of herself impaired her judgement of others, giving herself permission to empathize with others to a fault. In fact, her naivety made her a target for the manipulative, hurt souls in the world looking for someone “ripe” enough to sink their teeth into for emotional relief.
Joe and Susan seemed to get along great for about a year, and then the abuse started. At first it was disagreements-turned-screaming sessions, then it was pathological brainwashing and dishonesty. Susan wanted to leave, but the urge to not abandon Joe was somehow stronger than protecting her self-esteem.
Then, baby boy Sonny was born. Along with the tumultuous relationship came various forms of abuse – emotional, financial, physical, and family violence. Joe had three sisters, all of who were a bit rough around the edges and exemplified the “battered women syndrome”. They took turns insulting and bullying Susan. The more rejected Susan felt, the harder she tried to make amends. Joe’s sisters rejected Susan’s efforts to reconcile, accusing Susan of being a snob.
It was then that Susan wanted to get out of the relationship, but many threats of physical harm ensued, paralyzing Susan with fear. She thought, “What if it is worse being alone in Minnesota with no friends or family?” She began to wonder what support would be available for her and Sonny, “Who will he have to talk to? What about him knowing some relatives?” Susan identified several paths to leave the relationship, with most leading only to temporary stability, and Susan was not jet strong enough to take the next step.
At this time Joe continued to isolate Susan, and because of his fear of her leaving, he devised a scheme with his sisters to attack Susan and “show her a lesson” so she would continue to hesitate leaving him. Three months after Sonny was born, Joe’s sisters attacked Susan at their home while Joe watched. Sonny was in Susan’s arms, and she attempted to place him out of the way. As Susan proceeded, more individuals came to attack, including Joe, pushing Susan to the ground. Susan was scarred and bleeding, with hair ripped from her head and knife holes in the seat of her car; nonetheless, she was surrounded by an angry, jealous crowd who retorted, “Now you’re going to be like us, with a felony. Let’s see all the fancy things you get now.”
Susan was terrified and tried to get into the car and reverse out of the driveway, but in her hysteria, she pulled the gear shaft too far down and looking back, she pressed the gas and instead went forward into the apartment complex fence. Susan stopped to see if anyone had been hurt, but Joe’s sister lunged into the car with a knife and stabbed the seat of the car as Susan moved away. Susan then put the car into gear and drove as fast as she could away from the chaos.
Joe’s sisters called the police and falsely stated Susan intentionally came over to hit the crowd with a vehicle. Since Susan was alone, she had no one to collaborate her story. Susan was wrongfully charged with second degree assault, punishable in the State of Minnesota with either or both of up to a $20,000 fine and confinement of up to 10 years. The prosecutor increased Susan’s anxiety by inferring she may not see her son for quite some time if she did not take a plea deal. Susan, formerly without so much as a traffic ticket, plead guilty to a felony assault charge.
The judge was merciful and sentenced Susan to six months in the workhouse while Sonny was placed in foster care, because there was no family to keep him. Susan was devastated, and she was only comforted with the thoughts, “At least the time away from Sonny is only a few months and not a few years.” Her 9 month-old turned one while she was in custody, and Sonny was now walking. She cried many nights in her cell, longing to be with her baby boy. She wondered where she went wrong because she wanted to be the best parent ever, and it somehow fell apart. Although gut-wrenching, she was able to see Sonny a couple of times, and an acquaintance maintained her apartment to help Susan keep safe and suitable housing to speed up the reunification process. These small reminders gave Susan a glimmer of hope that the time would pass, and she and Sonny would be together again.
The days following Susan’s release were dark, and Susan struggled to provide for her and Sonny after being convicted of a felony. Many nights, Susan went hungry so that Sonny could eat. Being a single mother unable to obtain gainful employment was difficult to bear. Susan attempted college, using the excess financial aid money for living expenses until her aggregate limit was reached. It seemed that not only did she have to accept a felony, but also the perceived end of her dreams. Susan could not find a job because of her conviction, and if she was hired, once the background check came back, she was grossly mistreated until she left the position.
One point, Susan sent Sonny to her mother to care for him while she tried to find a job. Just like the old adage, “Nothing beats a failure, but a try”, Susan inquired about the expungement process. Susan searched for an attorney that would fight for the rights that were taken from her and her son. Susan petitioned for an expungement with the last money she had in a leap of faith to have another chance to succeed in life again. With the first filing, the judge rejected the petition, and upon seeing the hopelessness in Susan’s eyes, the attorney tried again, pro-bono, and successfully persuaded a judge to expunge Susan’s conviction.
To say that Susan and Sonny now live happily ever after would be a tale; however, to say that Susan and Sonny have fought an uphill battle and are making great strides would be accurate. Susan has obtained the validation she desperately sought externally from within. Susan is now a happily married mother of five children and has graduated summa cum laude with an Associate of Art and an Associate of Science Degree almost completely on scholarships because of her 4.0 grade point average (G.P.A.). Her next endeavor is to attend the University of Minnesota this fall to obtain a Bachelor of Science degree in Biological Sciences. The BS degree will prepare her to sit for the MCAT and submit an application to medical school in 2021!
Susan’s long-term goal is to become an anesthesiologist because she has a genuine interest in advancing medicine through research in gene therapy and neuropathic pain mechanisms. The health care industry needs the best and the brightest physicians who are both compassionate and educated to provide quality healthcare, and now Susan is a viable candidate. She is overjoyed in her preparation to accept the obligation of assuming an active role in constructing a welcoming, nurturing, transforming, and empowering environment for those who are experiencing medical issues. She would like to help people improve their quality of life.
Without the expungement of her criminal record and scholarships from faithful donors, none of her current achievements would be possible, and her gratitude knows no limit. The opportunities Susan has been given thus far has allowed her a fighting chance to see what she is capable of undeterred by obstacles. Susan was once a severely insecure, fearful, battered single-mother originating from abandonment, abuse, and poverty, and now she sees that it is not too late to reach her dreams. She now has tangible proof that her external environment is not indicative of her potential. Susan’s story, and others like it, help people believe that the stereotypes surrounding humble beginnings do not always predict the end. Susan’s deeply rooted inner motivation and persistence allowed her to stay the course of furthering her personal growth so that she may graciously pay it forward personally and professionally.
Many individuals experience situations that have them questioning their worth, such as family dysfunction, poverty, and/or abuse. They wonder if they can ever turn their life around, or they may give up trying altogether. Be encouraged that Susan’s path led to self-examination and inner motivation which is true satisfaction gained from the individual choices made toward completing one’s goals. Stay tuned…
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Rashida Thompson's Blog 